


On Thin Ice

by NekoGotMyBack



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Ice Skating, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, figure skating, ice hockey, nct - Freeform, nct 127
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoGotMyBack/pseuds/NekoGotMyBack
Summary: Top notch Korean figure skater Lee Donghyuck's life was crumbling in front of him, until a Canadian ice hockey player stepped into it.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this story is also available on Wattpad under the same username (@NekoGotMyBack). I hope you’ll enjoy!

Donghyuck rubbed his hands together, trying to make the tingling cold leave his fingers. He watched as Renjun made his way around the rink. The male had a certain gracefulness to him that Donghyuck had never been able to comprehend, even jealous off at some point. The movements of his long and slim body were made with precision, but did not seem forced, they were natural, meant to be. The male truly was in his element.

A shiver crawled up Donghyuck's spine and a certain aching feeling returned in his stomach. He knew what Renjun was feeling at this very moment, the utter bliss when every time you would jump off the cold surface and succeed in coming down just perfectly in one effortless motion, the thrill would start in your toes and shoot right up trough your calves, travel up your back and finally your head, releasing the much needed endorphins that made everyone addicted to this one particular sport once they tried it.

It had been almost a year since his downfall in America. The times Donghyuck had dared to step onto the ice again after that would be countable on two hands. His trainer, Lee Taeyong, was furious about the reluctance the normally big mouthed boy suddenly obtained and honestly Donghyuck couldn't blame him.

Donghyuck had always been on the ice. Since he was only five years old he would go along with his mother to this very rink and watch her. At six years he followed his first class, in Taeyong's group and the elder male immediately had recognized Donghyuck's connection to the sport. Besides the fact that his mother herself was someone that everyone in this branch of sport looked up to, Donghyuck had something special. He had a feeling, a deep understanding for the love of figure skating, already at such a young age, purely caused by his utter adoration for his mother. From then on he and Taeyong started training separately, eventually Johnny joined in on their private training sessions and the two elder males had never swayed from his side, medal after medal, they were the steady foundation behind Donghyuck's successes.

Donghyuck had managed to ruin all of their efforts in only five minutes.

He watched as Renjun skated to the edge of the rink and decided to drag himself off the tribune to actually greet his friend instead of slipping into his training session without a word.

"Why are you here this early? Do you have a meeting with Taeyong?" The shorter male asked eagerly.

"No, I just came before my shift to pick up some of my things that Johnny found laying around. I don't think Taeyong really is in the mood to talk to me right now, or ever"

"Don't be so dramatic. He's just trying to encourage you to not give up on everything so quickly" Renjun said with a small sigh. There was a hint of guilt in the elders eyes and Donghyuck knew exactly why it was there.

This year it would be Renjun who'd have the opportunity to go to America and stand in the spotlight. The actual competition was one month away and honestly, Donghyuck was scared for his friend. The Chinese male probably felt like he was replacing him, like he was taking Donghyuck's last chance at redemption.

"I think Jungwoo is waiting for you" The tan male commented, breaking the silence between them. Renjun turned around to look at his trainer who shot him a kind smile before hovering his finger above the playbutton of the small radio. Renjun nodded and the music started playing.

"Wait around please. I have something to ask you"

Donghyuck raised his eyebrow. He shrugged his shoulders before he made his way towards the stairs that would lead him up to the cafeteria. His skin broke out in goosebumps as soon as he entered the warm space. Johnny, the current owner of the rink, was sitting on one of the barstools while watching an ice hockey game on the small television in the corner of the room.

Donghyuck cleared his throat to gain the elder's attention, successfully.

"You had some of my stuff?" He asked softly to which Johnny smiled.

"Well, your mom's actually. I found some of her old competition tenues and I figured you would like to have them" Johnny states with a soft voice while he pulled a box out from underneath the counter. The young male's hand reached into the box and caressed the soft fabric. His mother always loved flamboyant outfits, lots of mash, lots of satin and certainly lots and lots of glitter. Her simple excuse for all of the extra touches was that she had to shine brighter than the glinstering ice she was dancing on. Donghyuck always thought a simple smile of hers had been enough to outshine the entire world. A hinge of sadness seeped into his system. He sure missed her.

"I know you're supposed to stand behind the bar tonight but don't you want to teach the penguins? I'm sure Taeyong wouldn't mind trading with you"

Donghyuck smiled at the mention of their youngest group of students. He met Renjun during his time in the penguins group, the two of them had stayed together until 'the polar bears' which was the last group in the kids program of Johnny's ice rink.

"No I'm fine. I like the bar" the male stated, forcing a small smile on the corner of his lips. Johnny's eyes lingered on him, shifted back to the box of clothes every now and then. Donghyuck's hand had never left the soft fabric.

"She would've been proud of you, you know? No matter the outcome"

The younger swallowed the lump in his throat before giving a small nod.

"I'm going back to Renjun. He wanted to ask me something" he said before placing the box back underneath the counter and making his way down the slippery stairs.

He wished he could just forget.

Donghyuck found his friend in the dressing rooms behind the tribune he sat on earlier. The Chinese male had just finished taking of his skates and was massaging his sore feet with his hand.

"Your routine looked astonishing, at least the part I saw of it. I'm sure you're going to be great" Donghyuck states before he sat down next to Renjun and helped the male to crack the joints in his toes.

"Thanks. Jungwoo and I have been working a lot on it. The hardest is still picking the music."

Donghyuck nodded and chuckled. It's always hard to pick your music. The song needs to have a certain emotion you can convey with your body, but more importantly an emotion you want to convey. Donghyuck still knew the two songs that had been in his last routine, he and Taeyong had spend a month choosing and putting it together. It started with finding Neverland from the original Broadway musical, Donghyuck would have been sitting in the ice and slowly get up, spinning at a slow tempo. The song would slowly bleed into charms by Abel Korzeniowski. The song had a certain hurry to it, maybe desperation was the right term. Donghyuck loved every second of it.

"What made you decide on Tian mi mi?" Donghyuck asked as he watched his friend put on his regular shoes.

"I just wanted something... original I guess? Also something close to my roots. All the other routines I did before this one were about heartbreak and sorrow, I wanted something happy and light to show a different side of myself." Renjun explained while nodding, satisfied with his own answer to the question.

The Chinese male did one last stretch after he got up before he looked back at Donghyuck with a serious look on his face.

"What I was talking about earlier..."

"Yeah?"

"I want you to come to America with me. You've always been with me, especially the past year and I honestly would feel a lot more secure if I knew you were watching me. I know I'm asking a lot considering what happened but... you know? Besides, you actually speak English so I might also need your help with that"

Donghyuck gulped. It was true. He and Renjun were always together, last year Renjun went along with him. The Chinese male had seen him break down. Donghyuck had attended every single one of the other's competitions the past year. It had become a habit to watch his best friend.

"I.. I have to think about it. I'll tell you tomorrow okay?"

Renjun gave him a simple nod with an encouraging smile. "You're gonna stand behind the bar again tonight right? Want me to join you?"

"No you should rest. Take care of yourself Renjun"

The two of them bid each other goodbye before Renjun left. Donghyuck lingered in the changing rooms just a bit longer, subconsciously making his way towards his old locker. All of them were an ugly red color, worn out and used to to their full extend. Somehow the ugly red still made Donghyuck feel at home. When he turned around to make his way back to the cafeteria he caught a glimpse of himself in the body length mirror. He had gained weight the past year, obviously. Not that he was fat, just a bit more muscular and bulky than he would like himself to be for a competition. His body was supposed to be slim and elegant to help his movements look more sharp.

He mentally slapped himself. It doesn't matter.

When he made his way back to the rink after boosting his self esteem for a good few minutes he saw Taeyong was already on the ice with some of the early students. The male always looked happy when he was teaching. After a bad knee injury the he was no longer able to skate professionally for himself but that did not hold him back from giving the younger generation of figure skaters that same exact spark that he had once felt.

Donghyuck was a coward compared to him.

When he met eyes with Taeyong he felt like the elder male thought just that. He knew Taeyong was mad at him. Mad for throwing his dreams away like they had never meant anything in the first place.

While Donghyuck was making tea for the several mothers that decided to watch their kids from upstairs in the cafeteria trough the big glass windows Johnny approached him once again.

"I need to go and help Jungwoo pick up some props. Could you go down after first class and bring Taeyong something to drink?"

Donghyuck simply nodded at the male's request before he watched him leave. On paper the rink belonged to Johnny, but every single staff member or long time club member knows the place would have collapsed a long time ago if Taeyong hadn't been here.

Donghyuck knew the two of them met in college and when Johnny inherited the rink from his father the two of them kept business going. Renjun liked to refer to them as 'the parents' which basically was the roll the two of them held in their small family. According to his best friend there were some unspoken feelings on both sides and ever since the Chinese male mentioned it Donghyuck couldn't help but notice that the two of them felt a little bit more than friendly towards each other, but both too afraid to admit it.

When the first penguins class ended Donghyuck went down with something to drink for Taeyong as promised.

The elder male slowly made his way towards him. The next class would start in ten minutes, Donghyuck was glad they didn't have too much time to talk.

"Where's Johnny?"

"He had to pick something up"

The elder nodded before taking a sip of his orange juice. Whenever Donghyuck was near Taeyong he felt small, he didn't like to disappoint people yet he kept on disappointing Taeyong.

"Already decided what you're gonna pack?"

"Huh?"

"Renjun told me he was going to ask you to come along. You're leaving next week right?"

"I- uh... I don't know if I will, to be honest"

He saw Taeyong's eyes scan over him.

"You should. I think it will do you good" The elder male stated simply before handing Donghyuck his empty cup and leaving to greet his students.

Donghyuck stayed by the sideline for awhile, watching the young kids struggling on the ice.

He smiled.

Maybe leaving for a bit would indeed do him good. It wasn't like he had anything else to do anyway. Besides, Renjun needs him to be there, so he should be there. He would be a shitty best friend if he wasn't.

A soft sigh left his lips in a cloud before he decided to head to the canteen. He should check the weather in Idaho for the upcoming weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this story is also available on Wattpad under the same username (@NekoGotMyBack). I hope you’ll enjoy!

Donghyuck woke up to the sound of his cellphone ringing. With sleepiness still intoxicating his brain he picked it up, only to hold it far away from his face to wait for Renjun to stop screaming.

It currently was 2 AM. Their plane would leave at 6 AM and he would have to sit next to his best friend, who had been on edge since Donghyuck said he would come to America with him, for fourteen hours and honestly the tan male had no idea how he was going to survive it. 

He rubbed his tired eyes before he swung his long legs over the edge of his two person bed. His arms stretched above his head and a satisfying pop came from the joint of his left shoulder. 

He silently peaked behind his curtains and took a small moment to look at Seoul's night scenery. The starry night sky was cloudless and a small layer of snow had covered the streets. When Donghyuck did his weather check of Idaho and saw the highest temperature during his time there would be -2.8°C he might have creamed himself. The male loved the cold winter days of the year more than anything. Summer was too hot and sticky, it made you lazy. During winter he always felt fresh and ready to concur anything. 

"The cold never bothered me anyway~" Donghyuck singsonged before closing his curtain and making his way towards his bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen up.

He would be there with Renjun for one month. The competition was currently three weeks away. The two of them decided to stay a week longer to just relax and do some fun stuff because the both of them knew the Chinese male was mostly going to train for the upcoming weeks.

When Donghyuck was stuffing his last used necessities like his toothbrush and deodorant in his suitcase his eyes fell on his open closet. On the floor level shelve stood his lonely ice skates and his very used ballet shoes. 

Donghyuck never stopped doing ballet for some reason. He blamed it for not being as confrontational as actually skating again. He contemplated for a good ten minutes before he let out a soft sigh and grabbed a plastic bag. The white leather skates disappeared into it before they were stuffed into his already too full suitcase.

Maybe in their last week they would go skate outside on some frozen lake or something for fun. That would be alright. 

After another thirty minutes Jungwoo, Renjun and Lucas drove their small car in front on Donghyuck's appartement building. After he had stuffed his suitcase in the already cramped space of the car he got into the backseat next to Renjun, behind Jungwoo was in control of the small vehicle.

Donghyuck was glad Lucas wasn't driving. The last time he had gotten into the car with the elder male was solely because Renjun had convinced him his half brother was that bad of a driver but boy was he wrong. Donghyuck felt like he had been in one of those terrible fast and the furious movies while they raced through the streets of Seoul at a speed he assumed was around 10 km/h higher than the legal limit. He had thrown up right after he came out of the car.

That was a one time only experience he rather wouldn't have at all.

Renjun and Lucas were currently living together. Their parents had left Korea to pick up their life back in China once again but the two brothers refused to move back. Renjun had been born in Korea, Lucas was born in China but did not have much recollection of the years he spend there so the two of them didn't really see why they should move to a country they didn't even know in the first place. Sure the countless vacations spend there made up for some of it, but it did not feel like home. Lucas' mother and father had separated when he was three years old and his dad had almost immediately fled the scene. His mother decided to move to Korea in hopes for a better future, that's where she met Renjun's dad. When Lucas had already been seven years old his younger brother was born. The two of the were inseparable and Donghyuck guessed that was the exact reason to why Lucas was coming along to America, or it was one of Renjun's hopeless attempts to couple his brother with his trainer.

The drive towards the airport was short. Considering it was only 5 AM, so it was really quiet on the streets. Jungwoo had arranged Johnny and Taeyong would pick up his car and put it back at the parking spot the day all of them would come back. The four of them unloaded the luggage from the car and headed inside. In his handbagage Donghyuck had nothing more than his laptop, charger, earphones and a book he had not finished reading yet. They all ate breakfast in one of the small cafes on the airport after they had dipped of their suitcases before it was finally time to board their plane.

The first thing Donghyuck did when they were in the air was buy WiFi for him and his friend. To his own surprise the two of them were not tired at all, maybe because adrenaline that was caused by their nervousness for America was buzzing in their systems. 

"I don't know if you'd like to, but there is an ice hockey game in Boise the day after we arrive. Some professional Canadian team against an American one, I don't know if you want to watch? We could explore for a bit and all"

Donghyuck smiles before nodding his head. He never understood the concept of ice hockey. It was too agressive, according to his personal taste. He knew Johnny used to be an ice hockey player and he still followed competitions world wide. The elder male had tried to explain the magic of the sport several times but Donghyuck simply did not get it. Maybe it was because he was biased, but he thought ice hockey was an ugly sport.

Renjun informed him the match was going to be the Idaho Steelhead against the Toronto maple leafs and Donghyuck honestly tried to hold his laughter at that ridiculous name, but miserably failed at it.

He knew Renjun was a big fanatic of the sport. The male loved 'the intensity' of it. During figure skating he felt like everyone had a stick up their asses, you had to hold a certain composure, the need to be graceful and elegant, maybe even perfect. Renjun didn't mind those things, but the fact that during ice hockey you could completely throw those of your bandwagon and just let lose was something that amazed him.

The two friends spend their time watching movies and talking. Ten hours into the flight Renjun had finally fallen asleep and Donghyuck decided to get his book out of his bag but when he had to reread one page five times he decided to give up and try to sleep.

Somewhere he was excited to go back to Boise. The city was quite large but still had something comfy. The two of them would probably spend most of their time at the rink but Donghyuck didn't mind. Their hotel was walking distance from it so the tan male could leave whenever he felt like it. 

When the plane finally landed and the four of them collected their luggage they managed to grab a cab at the busy airport and were brought straight to their hotel. Once they entered the lobby and received the keys to their rooms they were distributed by a loud wave of blue and white. People were yelling and singing while bags were dropped on the floor.

Donghyuck felt like he was having a culture shock.

"That's the Canadian team we're going to watch tomorrow" Renjun whispered. Donghyuck read the back of the jersey that one of the players was wearing. Indeed the 'Toronto maple leafs'. The male let out a soft sigh before he turned towards his friends who was watching the team with glinstering eyes, to which Donghyuck rolled his own.

"Should we ask for a signature?"

"Are you crazy? They should ask for yours" He grumbled to his friend who gave him a slap on the shoulder in return. 

The two of them were handed the key to their room and quickly went on their way to unpack. The room had a nice few on the busy street, one two person bed and a kind of small bathroom but honestly Donghyuck couldn't complain, it was better than the hotel he stayed at last year. Once both of them changed out of their airport pyjama's it was nearly 12 AM in Seoul but to their dismay only 9 AM in Boise, which meant they had to survive a whole other day in order to not fuck up their sleeping schedule.

"Should we check out the rink?" Renjun asked to which Donghyuck could only groan.

"Let's just sleep until 11 and than check it out? I'm literally going to die" the male complained to which Renjun only laughed before the male let himself fall into the bed next to Donghyuck.

It took them only five minutes to walk to the ice rink. It was quiet, and cold. The owner, who was a very kind old woman, was informed Renjun would be training here the upcoming fews week. Yet what the two of them did not know was that the Canadian ice hockey team would be sharing the rink with them. Sure it basically were two separate ones, but the annoying yelling and bro talk was still clearly audible. For now it was quiet, and the two of them decided to appreciate the moment. 

Renjun had explained that some big tournament currently was going on and most of it was being held in Idaho, which meant the Canadian team would be here for a pretty long time.

The two of them walked to the edge of the ice and both leaned onto the tall fence surrounding it.

"Are you nervous?" Donghyuck suddenly asked. He himself was nervous, probably way more than his friend. He underestimated coming back, the constant reminders of his failure were everywhere. It took him awhile to realize that Renjun probably already answered his question while he was dreaming away because he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, followed by a question.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine" Donghyuck said and shot the elder male one of his trained, fake smiles. He wasn't going to ruin this for him with his own problems.

Silence engulfed them once more and Donghyuck took his time to let his eyes scan over the ice. He remembered his training session with Taeyong right here, how loudly the music would blast trough the speakers, the bright lights of the long LED lights that caused him trouble sleeping at night. He wished he could say it had been all worth it. If Donghyuck could wish for one thing, it would be to erase that day out of his memory. The competition day had revisited him in his nightmares several times after that. The worst thing was that nobody laughed. It was just him, sitting on the ice, while the music kept on playing and Donghyuck had not enough mental strength to recollect himself and keep going.

That was the scary part about it. Nothing about his bad dream was exaggerated, it was the exact same experience, all over again.

Donghyuck looked to the side and Renjun, who was wearing a soft smile on his lips while dreaming away. 

Both of their eyes shot up to one of the steel doors that suddenly cracked open, revealing two people in deep conversation about what seemed to be a bagel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this story is also available on Wattpad under the same username (@NekoGotMyBack). I hope you’ll enjoy!

"What even is on an everything bagel?"

"Honestly I have no fucking idea. My mom said it was good if you put cream cheese on it tho"

The two males halted in their step when they saw Donghyuck and Renjun watching them.

"I think those are players from the hockey team" Renjun mumbled.

"No shit sherlock" Donghyuck snapped back. The blue and white jerseys the two males wore could be spotted al the way from Seoul. Before Donghyuck could even protest Renjun had made his way over to the two other males and tried to introduce himself in his best English before hopelessly getting lost in a slur of words and desperately looking at Donghyuck for saving.

The younger rolled his eyes before he complied. "We're Renjun and Donghyuck. He'll be sharing the rink with you the upcoming weeks"

"Oh we know. The two of you are figure skaters right?" The tallest asked, which stung a little, but to his bigger surprise the question was asked in no where near perfect Korean, but still Korean, which managed to put a bright smile on Renjun's face.

"We're Mark and James, or Jeno. Whatever you prefer" he continued. The person that was appointed to be Mark was looking at the exchange with a confused look on his face and Donghyuck figures he probably does not speak Korean. 

"Shall we go back to the hotel? It's almost lunch time" The tan male asked his friend to which he answered with a simple nod.

"We were actually going to get bagels after checking out the rink, I don't know if you want to join us?" The male continued, this time in English and Donghyuck started to wonder if said Mark was going to speak at all. Donghyuck uttered the question to Renjun in Korean who simply agreed to the proposition with a bright smile.

So Donghyuck was apparently having lunch with two complete strangers, and soon enough he figured why his friend had agreed to the lunch when normally he was all about 'stranger danger'. 

He was abandoned by his dear Renjun who was practically drooling over the tall handsome stranger and Donghyuck was left with Mark, who still hadn't uttered a single word besides 'what even is on an everything bagel'. 

"You do figure skating too right?" The male finally muttered after walking in silence.

"I used to"

"Oh.. I saw you do your thing last year"

"Great" was all the male managed to answer, grateful for the fact that Renjun and Jeno finally ducked into a small restaurant. ISU really was a bitch for broadcasting his failure worldwide because apparently even the Canadians had caught onto it. The small booth they sat on was honestly nowhere near big enough because honestly Donghyuck needed to get the fuck away from how disgustingly obvious his best friend was flirting with Jeno.

"They are going to watch the game tomorrow" Jeno said, probably translated from his conversation with Renjun. 

"You like ice hockey?" Mark asked to which Donghyuck simply shook his head.

"Not really that much, he's into it tho" he answered while giving a nod towards Renjun. Donghyuck knew he had a bad attitude but honestly couldn't be bothered enough to change it. He didn't want to be here, and he certainly didn't want to eat lunch with two people who were in a group called 'maple leafs'. A soft sigh left his lips before he looked up and coincidentally met eyes with Mark, who strangely enough kept looking straight at him. 

"Why don't you like ice hockey?" The male asked to which Donghyuck couldn't help but laugh a little. Mark looked like he had just slapped him across the face.

"It's too aggressive, I don't like full contact sports" 

"Then why come to the game?"

"Because Renjun wants to and I can't just leave him alone?" 

Mark nodded at that. Luckily for him their lunch quickly arrived and Donghyuck didn't have to sit in the boot for that long. The four of them walked back to the hotel together and to Donghyuck's dismay they were on the same fucking floor as them with only a few rooms separating. After a hurried goodbye the tan male pushed his friend back into the room before he sat down on the small ugly couch where a couple of clothes were stacked. 

"That was so not cool"

"What?"

"What happened to bros before hoes?"

Renjun blushed a bright red at that and Donghyuck couldn't help but laugh. He honestly was kind of proud. Renjun hadn't always been comfortable with his sexuality and that had improved quite a lot. There had been a time it really had been eating away at the elder male, when he himself realized he was gay but felt like he couldn't tell anyone. It's hard when you can see there is something wrong with you best friend but somehow you can't help. 

Donghyuck took a look at the alarm clock on their bedside table and saw it was already blinking the angry red numbers of 4:23 PM. They had been away for a very long time apparently.

"When do you think Jungwoo and Lucas want to eat diner?" 

"I don't know. Maybe around 7? Should we go and check on them?"

The two males left their room once more to go and find the people who were actually responsible for looking after them. The time until dinner was filled with card games in the room of the elder two and by the time Donghyuck had stuffed himself with good food he felt exhausted, yet when his head finally met his soft pillow he couldn't sleep. The white ceiling of their hotel room started to look like television static because his tired eyes had a hard time focusing, yet sleep couldn't wave over him. His anxious mind wouldn't leave him alone. He genuinely was afraid for his friend, prayed to God Renjun wouldn't have to go trough the same thing, which was nearly impossible but still. After another hour of mindlessly staring at the ceiling Donghyuck got out of bed and put on some sweats and a sweater. He originally was planning on going on a walk but the white plastic bag that he had stuffed into his suitcase a day ago suddenly caught his eye. He knew Renjun had a key to go skating whenever he felt like it.

Donghyuck quietly walked around to the other side of the bed and opened one of the drawers. He took the key and his bag and was walking out of the hotel within minutes. 

When he arrived at the rink the doors were already opened to his surprise and he wondered if the Canadian team would have training at this hour of the day. He silently walked towards the ice rink and no one was there, no one but Mark. The tan male wanted to turn around and flee the scene but sadly the Canadian had already seen him and was coming his way. Considering how rude he had already been this afternoon, he felt like it would be a bit too much to walk out on him just like that.

"What are you doing here at this hour?" The male asked with a soft Chuckle when he finally reached the fence. Donghyuck smiled.

"I couldn't sleep. I could ask you the same question tough."

"I was feeling homesick.."

Donghyuck nodded and let out a soft sigh. He saw Mark's gaze scan over him and his eyes resting on the bag he was carrying. 

"You came to skate?"

"No"

"Then why did you bring your skates"

"I thought I would be alone"

"So you wanted to skate alone?"

Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders because he honestly did not know. Out of the eight times he had skated over the last year three of them had been like this. When he couldn't sleep at night because his restless mind was bugging him with doom scenarios. He would go to the rink and skate. Really skate. Those other five times were nothing compared to those. The truth was Donghyuck no longer felt comfortable being watched. Being alone made him move so much lighter, and he wouldn't feel like he had to throw up. When he caught Mark's attentive eyes in his gaze he realized he still hadn't answered his question. 

"I guess" he simply said, hoping the elder would stop digging, which he did to Donghyuck's surprise.

"You want me to leave?"

"What? No? You were here first. Just do your thing" He answered before making his way over to the tribune. The younger was planning on just playing games on his phone but he couldn't help but watch what Mark was doing, which wasn't much. Just going around the rink and sometimes trying to do something that seemed to be a ski glide, the male almost fell several times to which Donghyuck softly laughed and Mark would simply shoot him a boxy smile, which was kind of cute. After a few more failed attempts Donghyuck finally commented.

"You need to move your hips more. You're just bending your knees and hoping for the best" after more comments and Donghyuck trying his best to demonstrate the movement on the tribune the other male finally succeeded to which the both of them held a small party with just simply cheering, clapping and stupid noises. When Donghyuck's eyes fell on the clock underneath the score board he almost had a heart attack. 

"Shit it's already 6:47. Renjun is gonna wake up and I haven't even slept yet what the fuck" he complained. Mark laughed before coming to the opening of the rink and taking of his skates to put on his shoes. Donghyuck patiently waited for him before the two of them walked back to the hotel. It was a quiet walk, but nothing like the silence they shared together during lunch. It was comfortable and understanding. The sun was already in the sky and birds were chirping away. It was a nice morning.

When the two of them finally arrived in the hallway of their rooms Mark spoke up.

"I'll see you around Donghyuck"

"Uh yeah. Good luck at your game"

The younger male waved goodbye and dove back into his room. Time had flown by when he spend it with Mark, which he honestly did not expect. He knew Renjun was going to train this morning so that probably ment he could get a couple hours of sleep in before they would head off to the ice hockey game. 

A soft sigh escaped his mouth and he finally let his eyes close and sleep take over. He dreamed of a routine, with and almost empty stadium. Just one person was watching him, and for some reason he was fine with that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this story is also available on Wattpad under the same username (@NekoGotMyBack). I hope you’ll enjoy
> 
> I’m still kind of figuring ao3 out since this is the first story I’m posting on here.... so y’all like it?

By the time Donghyuck finally woke up again it was already mid day. He groaned softly while running a hand trough his hair and rubbing his eyes, trying to get the sleepiness out of his body. He checked his phone to discover a message from Renjun, which basically told him the elder was currently training. What surprised him was that Johnny also send him a text message.

Seo Johnny;  
Hey Hyuck, I just wanted to let you know Taeyong and I are planning to come over as a surprise for Renjun, don't spoil it for him, Lucas and Jungwoo already know. Are you enjoying your time so far?

Donghyuck gave a short summary of his time in America so far, leaving his midnight skating session with Mark out of the picture. He finished his message with promising Johnny he won't tell and the fact that Renjun probably would be super happy if he knew that everyone would come to watch him. 

Part of what happened last night almost felt like it was a dream. He remembered he enjoyed his time with the Canadian boy, which kind of made him feel weird. With a shrug of his shoulders he got the thoughts out of his head and decided to take a quick shower before heading over to Renjun.

The elder male truly had a beautiful choreography. Donghyuck knew he had seen it around 5 times now, but every time he was surprised by the agility of his friend, how easily he would move trough all the exercises. He could see Jungwoo was proud too. Johnny often told him how Jungwoo ended up as a figure skater and every time the story still managed to baffle him. The male looked very soft, no sharp edges, just a kind gummy smile on a friendly looking face. Jungwoo had not always been like that. He used to be a rascal, a trouble maker, or edglord, as Johnny called him, so his mother decided to let him take ice skating lessons to gain some discipline. At that time, (very long ago, in a kingdom far, far away as Donghyuck always would like to say) Johnny's father was still the only coach of the rink, managing all groups of all ages, ice hockey or figure skating, including the one that Taeyong was in. Jungwoo joined the elder male and the two influenced each other immensely. Taeyong always had been the shy, skinny kid but suddenly with loud Jungwoo at his side he was like a rock in the surf, nothing could phase him any longer. Both of them changed for the better due to their friendship, and now with Johnny as the owner of the club the three of them were stronger than ever.

When Renjun was done with his cooling down the male quickly changed into some casual clothes and came up to Donghyuck with two ridiculous looking scarfs.

"I ran into Jeno and Mark this morning. They gave us these scarfs with the club emblem on them for the game" The male told him with a bright smile before wrapping the white and blue monstrosity around Donghyuck's neck.

Jungwoo and Lucas drove them to the actually place of the match which was housed by the Idaho steelheads. Renjun told him this battle was going to be the first in the competition that lasted around two months. The winner of the Grand-finale would win a massive cash price and of course bragging rights. The maple leafs were the only Canadian club invited, which was a pretty big deal according to the Chinese male.

I hope Mark will win. 

Donghyuck was surprised by his sudden thought, but it didn't take him long to just settle with it, because he did want Mark to win, even tough his club name was stupid and the club colors were even worse. A soft sigh left his lips which made Renjun look at him with a raised brow, which Donghyuck decided to ignore for obvious reasons.

The two of them were finally allowed of the car after Jungwoo and Lucas talked them trough every doom scenario that could possibly happen during their stay at the stadium (which all had the same solution by the way; call Jungwoo). The first thing the two males did after they found their seats was get food. They sat moderately close to the ice, just a few rows between them and the big glass walls which made Donghyuck think of the 'way to go Paul' vine. When they returned to their seats Donghyuck had already managed to stuff half of his hotdog in his mouth.

The two teams were slowly gathering onto the ice and Donghyuck unconsciously searched for Mark. An elbow from Renjun in his side caught his attention.

"Jeno wears number 1 because he's the goalie. Mark wears 17 and is on the attack line"

Donghyuck's eyes quickly searched for number 17 which didn't take too long to find. The male wondered if Mark was tired, considering Renjun had met him and Jeno this morning the elder male probably hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. During the game Donghyuck was way more infatuated than he would like to admit. His eyes were on Mark most of the time, the male moved in a certain that Donghyuck couldn't quite explain. He was agile and even tough he was wearing the bulky protection he still seemed to be light on his feet. The stick handeling was something that baffled Donghyuck's mind even more, it was honestly something that already gave him a headache by just thinking about how much hand-eye coordination you would need to be able to to control that thing, while steering a puck with it.

When the referee blew his flute for the first time, indicating 20 minutes of the total of 60 had passed Donghyuck honestly didn't know how to feel. He thought he felt excitement for the remaining part of the game but after a few seconds realized his bladder was about to explode.

"How long is the break?" He asked the elder.

"15 minutes"

"Great, I gotta piss"

The tan male followed the signs that would lead him towards the stalls of the probably disgusting toilets, but everything was better than wetting his pants. While the male patiently waited in line he suddenly heard an all to familiar voice behind him that immediately gave him the urge to punch the nearest wall. 

"Lee Donghyuck? Certainly did not expect to see you here" 

The male rolled his eyes before plastering a fake smile on his face and turning around, surprised by a mob of bright blue hair.

"Na Jaemin. Back to try again I see?" Donghyuck said with a sour tone, keeping his smile as nice as possible. The other male let his bode relax in a sassy sag. There was some bad blood between the two of them, sort of. It's more like they had been rivals since the age of ten, which did not really help their relationship. Jaemin was from another rink in Seoul. The founder of that one had already been in a fute with Johnny's dad since the starting days, so it was only natural for the two of them to hate each other. Something that also managed to fuel the fire between them were their trainers, because for some reason Taeyong could not stand Doyoun at all, and Taeyong could tolerate a lot. It was just the overwhelming cockiness of the two that made Donghyuck and Taeyong puke simultaneously.

Until last year it was Donghyuck who left with gold 99% of the time. He had been number one for nine years in a row and Jaemin had lived in his shadow. The only thing that made Donghyuck feel a little bit better about last year was the fact that some Russian skater had kicked Jaemin's ass when he failed to do so.

This year it would all be between Jaemin and Renjun, and Donghyuck knew the male infront of him was going to tease him about it. Donghyuck prayed to God Renjun would burn him to the ground and spit on him in the rink, but decided to keep his composure for now.

"You can say I'm desperate for trying again, but at least I came back, Donghyuck" Jaemin hissed before clicking his tongue and walking away, leaving Donghyuck with boiling blood. It honestly was already low for Jaemin to bring his absence after his mental breakdown on live television up, but the male knew why his mental breakdown happened in the first place. The words he just spat at him were lower than low, and they hurt, like hell. 

The remaining part of the game when by almost to quickly. Mark's team won with his and it made Donghyuck feel some stupid way of proud for wearing the ugly blue and white scarf in an ocean of red and black. Renjun explained to him that tomorrow the steelheads would play would play against the Chicago blackhawks, if they lost again it would be very hard for them to get back up. 

Donghyuck send a quick message out to Jungwoo that they were ready to be picked up and followed Renjun who stood in front of the big glass. Several players started taking of their helmets, amongst them Jeno and Mark. Renjun managed to catch their attention by excessively waving his arms. The two males waved back and Donghyuck decided that a simple nod of his head was enough of a greeting for himself.

The ride back to the hotel was loud. Apparently Lucas had fallen asleep so Jungwoo came by himself to pick them up and he and Renjun would not stop yelling about the game and what not. Donghyuck sometimes wondered if the two of them had those extra energy Duracell batteries up their ass while he himself was still working on a good old fashioned dynamo. Maybe it was the fact that the other two males actually had a good sleep this night, but the tan male decided to ignore that fact and stick with his battery theory. 

Dinner came soon after they arrived at the hotel and within no time Renjun and Donghyuck were sprawled our on their two person bed, both mindlessly scrolling trough their Instagram before the lights were turned off and the two of them decided to sleep.

Although Donghyuck had an encounter with his arch nemesis today, which he still had to tell Renjun about, his mind was calm, or maybe he was just tired. His already heavy eyelids closed with no effort and it didn't take him very long to drift off. He had the same dream as this morning. He was dancing on the ice, the music was clearer this time, as well as the person who was sitting in the tribune all by himself.

Donghyuck felt at ease.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda let myself go with this chapter lmao. Please leave feedback, it really motivates me!

During the third night at the hotel Donghyuck's insomnia came back to bite him in the ass. The day before had been hectic. He woke up late again, while Renjun was at practice. While going to the ground floor of the hotel for breakfast he realized he had locked himself out of the room by forgetting his keycard. Renjun and Jungwoo would be gone for another two hours, he was only wearing slides, a shirt and some sweatpants and it was -5,2°C outside. The seemingly short walk towards the ice rink to get Renjun's keycard suddenly seemed a whole lot longer.

The only time he'd caught a glimpse of Mark and Jeno after the ice hockey match was that night at the hotel's restaurant when all of them were having dinner. 

After about an hour of mindless staring at the empty ceiling of the hotel room Donghyuck got out of bed, got dressed and grabbed his skates. He did wonder if the Canadian male was going to be there, if maybe Donghyuck would be able to teach him an easy move again while they joked around together. He wouldn't like to admit, but he definitely was disappointed when he himself had to unlock the doors towards the rink and turn the lights on. Everything felt a whole lot more serious now he was on his own. The silence that hung thick in the atmosphere of the small club clogged his throat, made it harder to breathe. 

Yet Donghyuck could find the strength in himself to put on his skates and step onto the cold surface. The first four steps always were a bit wonky, but it wouldn't take him long to fall back into his old habits, his niche. Every single time Donghyuck dared to skate again he was reminded on how much he belonged there exactly, this was his calling. It was like long before the Big Bang even happened the gods above had already decided that in the year 2000 Lee Donghyuck was going to be born, and he was going to be a figure skater, no matter what. A soft, shakey sigh left his lips after he made his first round and he let himself come to a halt against the fence where he had placed his bag, and most importantly his phone with his speaker. He quickly connected his phone to the Bluetooth device and scrolled trough his music app before he finally found what he was looking for. Donghyuck; 2019, December 5. The date made him swallow the nothingness in his throat before he pressed play and finding Neverland started to echo trough the rink. The music bounced of the walls which gave the whole atmosphere an even sadder tint, reminding Donghyuck that he truly was all alone here. When the music finally ebbed into charms Donghyuck's body was taken over by an invisible force, moving to the music that was engraved in the clefts of his brain.

The sound of the violin that was playing wrapped around his limbs in a warm embrace, leading him trough the entire choreography. The harp in the background made the feeling of utter despair arise in his stomach. Whenever he danced to this particular song he felt like a fairy, who was looking for a long lost lover, and after years of being on his quest he realized his significant other had moved on, never loved him back the way he loved him and he was left all alone, in the darkness, rotting away because the feeling of emptiness in his heart had broken his soul. The pure, boiling anger and also the satin like love in the song were something that managed to let Donghyuck's skin break out in goosebumps every time he heard it. He would never get tired of this feeling.

When the music softly trickled to a stop and Donghyuck ended up on his knees and forearms on the ice he finally realized he was crying. Hot wet tears were streaming down his face and he had no idea why. A soft clapping coming from the tribune woke him up from his trance and he felt his blood run cold when he saw Mark. He had no idea how long the male had been there, how long he had been watching this intimate moment of Donghyuck but the younger was sure it was long enough for himself to feel completely embarrassed about it. The Canadian slowly made his way down the tribune, he already wore his skates. Donghyuck stood up and froze in his place, simply watching as Mark slowly made his way towards him. The eye contact they held while Mark made his way over to him on the ice had a certain kind of intimacy that the younger couldn't quite describe and he decided to just blame it on the fact that Mark had just seen him in his most vulnerable state. Something he had not allowed anyone else to see.

"Donghyuck.. that was amazing. Like holy shit you're so insanely good at this" Mark stammered when he finally was standing still in front of him. 

"Why aren't you competing anymore? You would totally crush everyone, not that I know a lot about figure skating but like I normally think it's a bit boring but when you're doing it it's like- like- I don't even know? Just really fucking good?"

A soft chuckle escaped the tanned male and he whispered a small thanks to Mark. He couldn't explain why he stopped skating. He didn't even explain it properly to Renjun, or Taeyong. Taeyong had never gotten a full on explanation as to why Donghyuck quit this beautiful sport.

Donghyuck's love for the sport had started with his mother, he only saw it as fitting if it ended there to.

He had been selfish and this was his way of repaying his debt to the woman who had raised him all by herself. In honor of her, he would never ever compete again. He couldn't. He shouldn't. 

Yet when he met Mark's eyes in his gaze once again he felt like he wanted to come clean. Spill his deepest secrets and fantasies to the elder male, because that intimacy was still there. He felt like this stranger right in front of him was the only person who was ever going to understand him, his way of thinking, him as his own very being. He felt like Mark would understand everything that he dared to spill, and he wanted to slap himself across the face for it, because Mark didn't deserve that. Renjun, Johnny, Jungwoo, Lucas, Taeyong. Taeyong. 

"I have enough reasons to quit"

The sour taste that sentence left in his mouth was something that made Donghyuck's insides churn, because it wasn't the truth. He had one reason that he let control him and all of the decisions he made.

Ever since his mother died Donghyuck felt like he had not been living for himself. He had been living for her, but not in a good way. He felt like he willingly detached his soul from his body and replaced it with solely thoughts of his deceased mother. 

"You weren't here yesterday" 

Mark smiled at him and Donghyuck felt tears spilling from his eyes. He hates ice skating, he hates Renjun, he hates Taeyong, he hates his mother, he hates the Seoul ice rink, he hates Jaemin, he hates the world. He didn't hate Mark. He had no reason to. The elder was clueless to what he was feeling inside unless he decided to open up about it, and Donghyuck was still disgusted by the fact that he wanted to tell his whole life story to somebody he didn't even know. 

"I kind of missed you, or is that weird to say? I mean like it was fun the other night"

Maybe Donghyuck was just desperate. That must be it. Desperate for someone to not just hear him, but also listen. To truly understand what he is feeling. Two warm hands cupped his face and wiped his tears. 

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know, to be honest"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Mark took one of his hands and once again smiled at him, before he started to skate around the rink at a slow and steady tempo, dragging Donghyuck along with him. It was calming. He didn't know what about it was calming. The soft noise of his blades cutting trough the ice, the firm grip Mark had on his own smaller hand, the way Mark fucking smiled at him. Mark. Mark was a very calming person.

"You said you saw me last year right?"

Mark inhaled "Yeah... was this what you were supposed to perform?" A simple nod answered his question.

"I... when I came to America last year my mother was very sick. She had... she had cancer. The doctors thought she had about one month left. She told me to go to America and I was selfish enough to go. Before I had to perform I got a call that she... she-" he broke himself off with a sob. He didn't want to cry anymore, he had done enough of that today, especially in Mark's presence. He felt like he had no reason to cry anyway. He made a stupid decision, he had been selfish, he caused this pain himself why was he crying? This was his own fucking fault. 

Mark hugged him. He smelled like a certain cologne that Donghyuck would probably try in a perfume store, but would never buy. He was warm, soft, careful. Mark was treating Donghyuck like porcelain, soft strokes up and down his back with his larger hands, so careful, like he was afraid Donghyuck would break into a million pieces.

They skated around the rink a bit longer. Donghyuck wasn't sure for exactly how long. His eyes were on their intertwined hands the whole time, until Mark decided is was time to get back to the hotel. 

When Donghyuck finally planted his face in his pillow his head was filled with thoughts he couldn't distinguish from each other. His mind was one big whirlpool of feelings, memories and Mark. He didn't dream this time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me updating this after 4 months oops

Renjun's free day was coming up and honestly Donghyuck couldn't wait to spend it with his best friend.

He wasn't quite sure what the two of them would be doing yet, the younger thought about shopping, maybe a nice lunch? Stay inside and watch movies all day? What he absolutely did not expect was for the elder male to inform him that both Jeno and Mark had the day off too and that 'it would be nice to spend it together'.

Donghyuck looked up to seeing Mark outside of their late night 'dates' at the rink. There was this feeling deep down in his stomach that he would disappoint Mark. He was a whole different person during the night, the Donghyuck that would go along with Jeno, Renjun and Mark to go shopping tomorrow wasn't the same Donghyuck that would play a stupid game of ice hockey with the children's set he and Mark found during one of their nights at the rink. He worried if Mark told Jeno about that dates under the moonlight because if Renjun found out he was secretly skating behind his back the Chinese male would probably strangle him to death, resurrect him and make him join the competition. 

The next day rolled around rather quickly and right after 10 AM, when Donghyuck finished dressing himself a soft knock was heard on the door of their hotel room. Due to the fact that Renjun was still busy brushing his teeth and getting ready he took it upon himself to open the door, trying his best to smile at Mark and Jeno who had been waiting in front of their door. Donghyuck couldn't help but avoid eyes with Mark. He had this weird little voice in his head that today everything would go to shit and he had absolutely no idea why. Renjun quickly finished getting ready and within no time the four of them were walking trough the streets. Jeno and Renjun were walking at front again talking about God knows what.

"I'm like 99.99% sure Jeno is going to ask Renjun out before the competition" Mark mumbled which made Donghyuck chuckle. It was obvious the two of them liked each other but it would never work, and he simply hoped Renjun was smart enough to figure that out on himself. Besides the obvious fact that both Jeno and Mark lived in Canada and he himself and Renjun in Korea, it simply wouldn't be smart to gain such a big distraction as a relationship on two weeks before the nationals. 

"I'm like 70% sure Renjun would reject him if Jeno asked him out" Donghyuck whispered back with a playful smile on his lips.

"What? Are you crazy? They obviously like each other, it would be more likely for me to go skinny dipping this time of the year than for them not to end up together" Mark whisper-yelled, eyes wide with offense.

"I hear a bet? If they get together before the nationals I go skinny dipping, if not or after, the honor is yours" Donghyuck concluded, glancing at Mark from the side. The elder's side profile was truly stunning, not that Donghyuck didn't know he was handsome already, it was just that his goofiness always kind of masked it. Now while they were quietly walking on the streets of Idaho he just had more time to admire Mark's sharp jawline, high cheekbones and wide eyes, slightly tin lips that still complement his face very well. Mark was undeniably handsome, same for Jeno. Donghyuck always wondered if that was a sporty people thing. 

"That's a deal" Mark whispered back to him, carefully bumping their shoulders in a playful way.

When Renjun finally turned left into a shopping mall Donghyuck let out a sigh of relief. The cold had started to bite away at his cheeks and he couldn't wait to enter a warmed up place.

After running in and out of several stores all day and contemplating on going to the movies all of them ended up at a ramen shop for dinner. After completely stuffing themselves to the brim Jeno offered to pay for now so they wouldn't be an inconvenience to the aunty by splitting the bill there. When the four of them were outside Jeno let out a long sigh which caught the attention of the other three.

"I'm feeling like skating. Shall we go to the rink?"

Both Renjun and Mark went completely silent and it almost made Donghyuck chuckle. 

"Sure, let's go" he said, afterwards purposely avoiding Renjun's gaze. He figured it would be so bad to skate right now. Renjun and Jeno probably were going to be completely emerged in each other so it would be just him and Mark, which was weirdly calming. Donghyuck looked to the side to find the Canadian male already looking at him. Mark's expression shook him, it was so incredibly soft, maybe even fond looking? It stirred up a certain feeling in his stomach that he'd rather not name.

Since they all left their skates at the hotel en did not feel like walking there to get them they rented some, which was quiet weirdly still possible at this hour.

Just like Donghyuck had predicted Renjun and Jeno were off together rather quickly, cutely holding hands while skating past all the other people who were also on the rink. A soft tune was playing through the speakers that Donghyuck recognized to be Lauv's love like that. 

"It must be date night or something because it's full of couples here" Mark said softly, a light blush spreading over his cheeks. Donghyuck scanned over the rink before nodding. He let a soft sigh escape for placing his hand on the inside of Mark's elbow and dragging the male further onto the ice. He felt hot inside and somehow extremely shy about what he just did, wondering if he maybe had read the situation all wrong and just utterly embarrassed himself.

His worries were quickly gone when Mark slowly let Donohand slide down until he could hold in his own, intertwining their fingers. After about half an hour of skating the two of them got hot chocolate before saying their goodbye to Renjun and Jeno who decided to stay just a little longer.

On their way to the hotel Mark took his hand again, this time stuffing them in the pocket of his jacket. Donghyuck could feel the butterflies in his stomach getting uneasy. 

The Canadian walked him all the way up to his hotel room where Donghyuck opened it and just dumbly stood in the doorframe for a minute, not knowing what to say or do. He just knew that he didn't want Mark to leave just yet. 

"So uhm..." the Canadian started. Donghyuck could see him think hard while trying to come up with a proper sentence. "... I have Wednesday off too and I don't know but like, would you maybe want to do something together? If you like? With just the two of us...?" Mark got quieter as his works progressed, the last part almost coming out in a whisper.

Donghyuck smiled softly before nodding. "Yeah I'd like that... shall I give you my number so we can exchange details?" Mark nodded and took out his phone.

When their numbers were exchanged the silence lingered between them. They met eyes and Mark's flickered down to his lips, however before either of them could lean in Donghyuck spoke up.

"I'll be going to bed now, I'll see you on Wednesday Mark" he said softly before waving the other goodbye and closing the door of his room.

He expected himself to fall asleep as soon as he dove into his comfortable bed but for some reason his mind was too busy with Mark that sleep simply wouldn't catch up on him. At some point he heard Renjun quietly entering the room.

Donghyuck doesn't know for how long exactly he was staring into space with the Canadian on his mind before his mind finally shut down, all he knew that it was way longer than a person normally should when denying that they had any sort of feelings for someone.


End file.
